Well, here is my first entry. It's Thursday night and I'm Tobin-less, so I actually have a little bit of free time. There seem to be so many people I feel I should be writing to, so many people constantly asking about Tobin and the pregnancy, that I felt it would be really easy to just start writing here and let those who care check when they will. So... here I am.
I also thought it would be a good idea for me, personally, to have a place to record all of the craziness in my life that's happening- I can't imagine what it would say if I'd started writing 6 months or a year ago. It's amazing the turns life can take- I certainly would have never imagined I'd be married and pregnant if you'd have asked me where I'd be in a year last year at this time. But, again, here I am.
Randal left again last Friday... this time was a bit harder on me- maybe because of pregnancy horomones, maybe because I was tired, and maybe because I just can't get used to dropping the love of my life off at an airport so he can go live in another state while I stay home and carry his baby. Probably all three.
It's not that bad, overall... I mean, it's awful to be apart from him, especially when we've only just begun to settle into being together and discovering all of the nooks and crannies (mmm, english muffins) of each other. But then, he left four days after we got married, so I guess we've never really settled into anything but this off-and-on seeing each other.
I think about him and our relationship (as I can't help but doing when he's here, and especially when he's not) and it just amazes me how everything happened, and is happening. I had just finished this book called The Celestine Prophecy that Tara reccomended to me right before all of this (marriage, pregnancy, life) happened and it was kind of a... I don't know. It definitely gave me a swift kick in the "just let things happen" mindset, which led me to where I am, which is actually the happiest I can remember being, all things included.
... cont'd in next entry...
1 comment:
Well, I suppose the mindset was kindof contageous. Even for a hard-headed east-coaster like myself. But it was wierd, how things just seemed fine. Every move in our relationship just seemed to happen and it felt great watching and letting. I have yet to finish the book though. Sorry hun. :-)
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