Happy Halloween!

Well Happy Halloween.

I'm at home, cutting outdecoupage for my bathroom- woohoo! When people asked me what I was going to be for Halloween, I said, "Asleep!" (aren't I witty?) Today went well, though. It was very productive. I woke up early this morning just aching for my friend... I mean physically hurting for her. I wish so much that I was able to do something, but there's nothing I can do, and that is itself is something difficult to deal with, nevermind the scope of what she must be going through.

Alas and alack, laying fully awake in bed thinking about what you can't do is only worth so many moments of your life, and then, you get up. So, I was awake and cleaning my house at 6-something, which, especially considering the stupid time change (why do they DO that?! Tobin's naptime is ALL wrong now) is pretty darn early. Just preparing for complete lack of sleep I know is coming. :)

My roommate is out- HOORAAAYY!!! He has two chairs to get tomorrow, and that's IT! So- tomorrow, Porky is coming over (and I think Mom is, too) to help me get that room ready. Manny has Tobin all day, so I actually might get a decent chunk finished. Sweeeeet. My very own house with NO ONE I'm not related to in it, and neither of them are my parents! THAT is sweet. It's time, though. Aside from the fact that there is NO WAY I would want to clean up after another *adult* like I have been, plus two kids and myself. BOTH kids would have also had to be in my room. HA! Haha. Ha. No.

OH! OH*MY*GOODNESS*. I can't even believe I got this far without saying something. *ANOTHER* one of my friends got hit by her boyfriend today (although not to NEAR the same extend as my first friend) but THIS one is pregnant! WHAT IS *WRONG* with people?!? And I thought I might have been embittered before! JEEEEZ.

On THAT note, I'm off for a bath and bed. Again, if you could focus your prayers, thoughts, vibes, energy, whatever in the direction of these wonderful women, I know they could use all the support, even from complete strangers they may never know, that they can get. :)

quote for the day: "Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." Carl Jung

Special people

Yup, that's right. I'm angry. Angry is an understatement, at that. I am enraged, disgusted, saddened and frustrated. I'm not going to write too many details because they are not mine to write, but someone very close to me was in the hospital today bruised from head to toe to heart by her boyfriend.

This person is one of those special people to me, who I can actually connect with and feel comfortable telling anything to. She is strong, beautiful, passionate and a complete treasure of a person. She is not the small, helpless, tiptoe-ing person he forces her to become. I can't imagine what she must be going through in body, mind and spirit right now, and it pains me more than I can say to think of it.

The only reason I am even bringing up this much is because I want her to feel as much love and hope and well wishes as possible coming her way right now. So, if you talk to God, or the trees, or yourself, even... if you could just take a moment and send some prayers, vibes or whatEVER her way, I know at least, that it wouldn't hurt anything.

As for me- still pregnant, still here. I have a lot going on with readying the house for the oncoming traffic bound to ensue after having a baby, as well as preparing for the baby him or herself. Of course, feeling the Mama Bear horomone in overdrive after this morning's events (see above paragraphs) doesn't help too much, but I only have SIX more days until Randal is here. *ahhhh*. I am SO glad I have him, even if I only have him near me every so often.

So, friend, please know how much I love you. Know that NO ONE should have to deal with that for ANY reason, that's it is NOT your fault, and that you are not that small, afraid person he makes you into. You are strong, intelligent, passionate, aware, creative, driven, talented, beautiful, and most of all, loved SO much by people that are hurting for you and want to see you safe and happy. Please, please take care of yourself. I am here for you.

quote for the day: "There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin

6 1/2 & 3

Number of days until I see Randal & number of centimeters I am dialated.

So HOPEfully, this baby stays in until he gets here! Three centimeters isn't THAT much- people have gone from three to baby in a couple of hours, and some have walked around like that for two weeks. Just another thing to wait for now, (and still) but I'm not going to take any more herbs or anything to help encourage labor! They told me to just take it VERY easy, and I should be fine. Too bad I have to turn my roommate's room into Tobin's ASAP, so I can get him in there before the baby's born, so he doesn't feel ENITRELY ousted from his position.

That's one of the only things I'm remotely concened about with having a new baby- I love Tobin SO much, and I just cherish every minute I get to spend playing with him or reading to him or whatever. I know that time is going to have to be compormised, and though I know I'll be completely happy (understatement!) to have a new baby to occupy me, I worry for Tobin. All kids go through that stage at first, though. And it's good for kids to have siblings, anyhow. Them learning to share their toys (and parents!) and whatever else is a really good thing to learn early and be brought up with.

Anyhow- I am exhausted and still have my list of DDGRs to get through. Grandma is coming over tomorrow to help me get the house clean before I have people coming to stay or visit before or after the baby is born. I KNOW I won't have the energy to do it then! I'm having a Braxton-Hicks contraction as I type. Uhhhhh. Man- *ALMOST* there! S/he he just has has to wait for daddy!

quote for the day: "One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life." Chinese Proverb

PS: Pictures are of Tobin playing in the bath last night. Nevermind what his hand is doing in the second picture. He's going to HATE me for all these pictures on the internet when he's a teenager!

...cont'd

Anyhow- I'm off for my DDGRs, which today include putting away the VAST amount of laundry I did at my parents' yesterday, cleaning the fishtanks (eew) and pruning my houseplants. Fun fun! Hope you all are doing well, and please feel free to leave comments! I'd love to hear from you and what you think!

quote for the day (a longer one, but one of my absolute favorites):

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

taken from Nelson Mandela's 1994 inagural speech

9...

Hello! :)

RANDAL IS COMING HOME IN *NINE* DAYS!!! Nine! That's like... barely over a week. A quite tolerable amount, comparatively. Randal comes home at 10:11am (not that I'm counting minutes or anything) on Wednesday the 5th for an unknown amount of time (5-12 days) and Ray & Linda will be here the evening of the 6th. Then I'll have a nice and full house. :) (Especially if I've had the baby!)

Speaking of which- I'm aiming at the 5th. That is the soonest Randal will be here, making it the soonest I want to have the baby, so the 5th it is! I'm going to pick him up, then start taking some herbs and stuff my midwife reccomended. They even said (depending on how favorable my body looks) they could break my water to see if that helps. Of course, if I don't go into labor and my waterbag is no longer intact, that means it's off to the hospital for Pitocin (HHISSSSSSSSS) and whatever follows. I'm not even sure how to articulate how much I would LOATHE being in labor in a stinky ol' hospital with that stupid butt-flap gown on with needles all up in my business. NO THANK YOU. I know, I know... all you mommies did it- but I am not all you mommies, and it IS that bad for me.

The pictures are ones Randal recently sent me from his trip...1) a beach in Costa Rica, 2) a beer-chugging monkey rescued from a bar (poor little dude! He only chugs water now, though) 3) Randal (see arrow) on a drug boat with the boarding team... somwhere, 4) a really cool cloud wall, and finally, 5) Randal (on the right- and as a sidenote, look at those buff forearms! Ahh... they'll be around me soon enough :) with his friend and part of 1500lbs. of pure cocaine. DAMN. I bet there are some druggies out there who are *pretty* unhappy about that one. Oh well.

Tobin is sleeping at the moment, and doing well overall. We had SO much fun at Grandma's on Saturday. I think everyone did. It was SO great to have all the kids -and ALL of them got presents- there was a bit of chaos, but how can there not be with 7 kids, mostly around 2 & 3 years old? I was riiiiiiight at home, though pretty hot. It's been in the mid-90s for days, now. I WANT MY AUTUMN WEATHER! Stinkin' California... being sunny all the time... better than FREEZING Maryland! I had on nine layers of clothing when I was there and it was STILL cold. I was told that was unusually cold even for them when I was there, but I think they were just trying to ensure that I would come back and bring the kids :)

Everything's better in a fedora

Well, I went costume shopping with Amy and Tobin today, to no avail. We did find some pretty snazzy hats, though. Tobin found a purple and lime green fuzzy leopard print hat he liked quite a bit. (see picture) I have on a feathered witch hat. Ooh la la! You might also notice (if you're just THAT on top of things) that my hair is darker. I got it cut last week, and decided last minute to get it highlighted, since my pregnant self seems to think my hair needs to be darker than it was. That happened with Tobin, too. I guess we can't ALL be California blondes. Now I'm a California brunette/redhead/blonde, depending on which part of my hair you're looking at.

Well, Tobin just woke up from his nap, so my time is again cut short. After Manny comes in a little bit, I'm going to finish my million errands and, of course, my lovely DDGRs. I'll just keep the quote for the day the same as the last entry, since it *is* technically the same day still. Tomorrow is the Halloween/October Birthdays party at Grandma & Al's, so you can look forawrd to some cute pictures tomorrow!

Playroom!

Hooray! My computer is up and running! Even the guy I had to pay to fix it had no idea what was wrong with it, but hey, at least it's working. As you can see, my phone is working as well, so here are some pictures of Tobin's playroom. Nevermind the garbage at the end of the counter my roommate has yet to take out, as always.Those are Dr. Seuss pictures on the wall (along with some shapes in different colors) and on top of his bookshelf are Red Fish and Blue fish- two betas named after (you guessed it) the Dr. Seuss book.

You can also see the table & chairs and toybox I built (that toybox was DEATH! The instuctions -which I should have just ignored- were obviously written by someone who didn't even speak English. Horrible.) There's a picture of Tobin sitting on his toymat (which has all the ABC's and numbers on it) surrounded by his Bob The Builder duplo blocks, courtesy of Grammy and Boppa. (ABC book on the table, also courtesy of Grammy & Boppa- he LOVES that book. It never even gets put away, and that's something, since both Tobin and I like our space pretty clean)

The last pictures are of his Harry Potter room under the stairs- he has a Bob the Builder (of COURSE) sheet up in the doorway (though there is a closing door) and (you guessed it!) Bob stickers (decals, really) on the walls inside. There's not *too* much in there, but there's some toys and books and his ever important potty chair.

I have about a million errands to run that I should start getting to, but I figured that I'd get these pictures up while I can. I may write more later, depending on what all I still have to get done by Tobin's nap. I hope you all are well. :)

quote of the day: "If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in." Rachel Carson (same person as yesterday!)

The Benefits of Being Two

So, the benefits of being two (so far) start with being able to act like a total spaz out of nowhere and have it brushed off as "being two", but more importantly include the ability to pull off a tutu, rainboots and a sippy cup, as illustrated by Gabby, above. (Just for you, Amber :) That's Tobin over there, tying on rainbow scarves. Well, HE needed something special to dance in too, didn't he? :)

I miss Randal so much. This is horrible. I mean, I'm not crying or pining away alone in a corner, but I really, really miss him. Whatever amount of time I get to spend with him when he's home is going to be all the time we'll have seen each other for six months. SO lame. I suppose it cuts down on arguments over which side to squeeze the toothpaste from when he's here, but it would seem like such a blessing to be able to be around each other enough to have one of those arguments in the first place right now, I'd be grateful for it.

My waist is 40 inches right now. FORTY INCHES. (See pictures, courtesy of Amber after work today) That's almost twice what it usually is. I can actually feel my skin stretching when the baby moves. It's TIME, I say. Only now I'm trying to NOT have the baby in case Randal comes home. THAT is a predicament, I tell you. Like I have control over it, anyhow. That just means whatever happens, I'll be grateful.

Well, it's getting late, and though Tobin's not here now, he will be *bright* and early tomorrow, thankyouverymuch, Manny. So.. there's a little update for today, anyhow. Randal is enjoy a *liittletiny* amount of free time (haha) now that he's not on the boarding team, but I can tell he's really ready to come home. I'm ready, too.

quote for the day: "If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life." Rachel Carson

...cont'd

At the end of the day, he was pretty tired out. (see CUTE picture, sleeping on Grandma :) Could be that his nap was ZERO MINUTES long... He crashed at about 8:00, though. I had to wake him up this morning at about 9:30 to get ready for work. He also had to lseep in my bed (again) to sleep at all. He has to THRASH before he finally settles down to sleep. Not that I'm sleeping through the night anyhow at this point, but that's probably nature's crash course in getting up a million times a night. Fun.

Anyhow- I've only got a few more minutes before Manny brings Tobin back, so I'm going to try and eat and get some more stuff done while I still can. So... everything's up in the air still, but at least the pieces will probably land somewhere that won't break my heart. :)

quote for the day: "Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -Buddha

PS: Doesn't Tobin have the sweetest sleeping face you ever laid eyes on? I can't think of anything a Mommy loves more than her child... asleep. :)

*WHEW*

So, if you can tell by the *WHEW*, there have been some changes since my past entry, THANK GOODNESS. Thank. Goodness. Jeeeez.

SO- first off, right AFTER I got the news he wasn't gonig to be here for another month, I get *another* e-mail where he said they wanted to keep him on the boat another TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Um, no. Not acceptable at ALL. I told him I might as well just ship my ring to his XO, so he could have that wrapped around his finger, too. Luckily, hearing about 2 1/2 more YEARS of this was so huge that there was no possible way for me to be sad about it. It was just numbing.

BUT! (and thank goodness for those) BUT- Randal made the decision to quit the Boarding Team, rendering himself much less useful to the boat, so now he may not even have to go to the training in November at all, which would be SO HAPPY. If anything, we're just going to see if he can fly home when the ship refuels in San Diego around the 5th, and then meet them in Astoria a few days later. He was a bit concerned about the cost of flying around so much, but only until he was informed of the cost to his wife if he didn't. :)

So... we'll see. I feel SO much better, though. I think he's just trying to stress me out so much that there's NO way I can have the baby until he gets home. Sheesh. I still think the Coast Gaurd is poo, though. They should NOT be messing with the emotional state of a woman who is nine months pregnant. That is just not funny.

Tobin is doing well- we had dinner with Grandma and Al last night (outside, since it was about 70 degrees) and he watered EVERYthing. As you can see in the pictures... not to exclude body parts, which is why there's a gradual lessening of clothing on him as the pictures go on. :)

$*&#ing Coast Guard

Now that I'm done with my heaving sobs, I guess I'll whine to you guys. I just got an e-mail from Randal saying he's not coming home until December, and then it's two weeks until he goes back out again. Both Manny and the Coast Guard seem to be set in making sure no matter what happens, I remain a single mother. I DID NOT GET MARRIED TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER. I am so dissapointed and sad. I have a pinched nerve in my back so I can hardly walk, my stomach is huge and cumbersome, Tobin is sick and freaking out because he's 2 and he can sense the baby coming, Manny's decided that no matter what, he's not letting Tobin move away, and now Randal isn't even going to be around for ths first MONTH of the baby's life, let alone be there for my labor and his/her birth. Wonderful.

Tobin turned 2 yesterday. We didn't do anything too exciting- we're having a family party for him on the 25th with his cousins, which should be fun. If my phone wasn't being retarded and not letting my upload pictures, I would post one of his new playroom that has been my project the past two weeks. He LOVES it. Too bad he's going crazy. I have a feeling these next couple of months are going to be... interesting. Full.... very full.

I have a great history of keeping my chin up, and this will be no different. I just wish I had any of my life settled. I'm just waiting.... waiting for the baby to come, waiting to hear Randal's voice and see him again, waiting to hear where I'll be living, and for the fight in court it's going to take to get there... I just feel so drained at the prospect of all of it. I know it will be fine, and it will work out and blah blah blah, but man- it really, really sucks from here.

quote for the day: "For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out." James Baldwin

Whole Foods is Awesome

Whew. I had my first migraine today. LAME. *OH* lame. I thought I was going to die, serioiusly. That was out of control. I went to Whole Foods, though. I found a new brand of Soy Ice cream (stop making that face!) that gives part of its proceeds to helping Sea Turtles. How great is that? That, my friends, is why Whole Foods is awesome. I'm okay with moving to the East Coast ONLY because I'm pretty sure there's a Trader Joe's not too far away- it would be even better if they had Whole Foods, but I'll take what hippiness I can get if we have to move there.

I AM NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!! NINE. Yup. 9. Alllllllll nine. What does this mean, you say? It means that I have to rush like a city driver down the hallway towards the bathroom at a moment's notice only for like 4.3 drops of pee. GREAT. It also means that the baby is HUGE and sitting on about every nerve I have in my lower extremeties, I can't bend in ANY direction or move any part of me (mind included) very quickly. UGH. I am OVER IT. Yeah yeah, pregnancy glow and cute little (HA!) belly and all that- COME OUT, KID. If this one camps out as long as Tobin (that would be 42 1/2 weeks, thankyou) I will DIE. Die! I will explode if my midsection doesn't just break my spine off first. 

I'm still constantly torn between whether I really care or not if Randal's there, or whether I just want it OUT. The latter of those two is a pretty strong feeling, let me tell you! But, I wouldn't want Randal to miss the birth for anything, except getting it out of me sooner! Luckily, I don't really have much control over either one, so I'll just have to wait and see. That just means I'll be grateful for ANYthing. Anything but this.

I'm also about done with missing Randal. THE END. I am tired and achey and fat and I want my husband! He's been gone two months which is LONG ENOUGH. I wish there was a way he could come home early so I could just get this little baby on out, and have him home. *sigh* Anyhow- I'm exhausted, so I'm going to go. My phone is being a poo and not letting me upload pictures, but I will as soon as I can get it working. I hope you all are doing well. :)

quote for the day: "Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside." Rita Rudner

... cont'd

I got a letter today from my insurance comany that said my insurance has been cancelled since JUNE (hel-LO?? Why didn't they tell me before???) and so they're not paying crap for my body damage, and THEY'RE the *only* people (not even the police) that have the possibility of getting the information from the chick who hit my car. So now, I have a broken car with NO way to fix it, and I've been driving with no insurance for four months, an didn't even know. Niiiiiiiice.

Grammy and Boppa came over for a little while today- that was nice. They both get a lot of enjoyment out of Tobin, and vice versa. Tobin gets a LOT of enjoyment out of "pushing" (walking) Misty, their Kairn Terrier. (think Toto) I think they think it's pretty funny, too. He is SO important and big when he's got a leash in his hand, let me tell you!

Tobn was awesome today. He only took about a 40 minute nap, though. Amazingly enugh, he wasn't crazy, really. We read some books upstairs in my bed, then I put him in his crib and laid down. I woke up 45 minutes later when he hit his chin on the rail from jumping and starting crying. Poor little guy. He was SO sweet all day, though. That makes a lot of things feel better. Unfortunately, my stomach is nt one of them.

Anyhow- I've got to write Randal and get home to bed. I'll write again when I have free time and access to a computer. I wish i knew how to fix mine- it won't even boot! Jerkface.  Oh well. I hope you all are doing well- ONE MORE WEEK until I'm 37 weeks pregnant, when I will be nine months pregnant and READY. Ready ready ready. Annnny time is fine by me. Not that I have anything at ALL ready in my house, but I don't care. Slap some diapers on hat baby, and I'm good. S/he can sleep with me in my bed, and SOMEone will bring my some teeny baby clothes, I'm sure. Oh, and the reigning boy name at present is Aiden Kai. Not that Randal knows that, but I'll tell him in a minute when I write him. :)

quote for the day: "Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed." - Corita Kent

sigh

Pictures: Tobin, Gabby, Porky and I seeing puppies.... still no bulldogs, though. Poo. :(

Hello! Sorry for not having written much at all lately- my computer crashed, and I can't even get it to load. I'm at my parents' now, using their computer. It sucks twice over, since e-mail is also the only way I have of communicating with Randal. I've also been sick since Sunday night, which doesn't help a whole lot. I didn't go to work until Wednesday. I had an appointment at the Birthing Center this morning and I told them about it- they said that it's probably just a resurgance of morning sickness. (when the heck did sign up for that? It can DO that??) Either way, I've been waking up at about 4 or 5:00 in the morning with horrible stomach ahes, and nothing to be done about it but lose sleep. Awesome.

So, I'm tired. Par for the course, I suppose, but I am TIRED. I'm about ready to be done with this whole being pregnant situation. I'm caring less and less whether Randal will be there or not, and more and more when I can be THROUGH. They checked and the head is WAY down. My cervix is still way up, though, which means I'm not close to labor anytime soon. Poo.

I'm redoing the front room in the housefo Tobin- I pu down a big ABC mat that's about 10x10, and I'm putting all his pictures and stuff up on the walls. I got him a nice toybox for his birthday (along with some Play-Doh and some other stuff) that will be in that room. I have to put it together, though. I'm actually pretty good at theat- I just got a new bookcase (OH MAN, I love it!!) that Sean helped put together and it was pretty easy. I built the bookshelf that's in Tobin's room and the computer desk, too. Go me!

Okay, so my bookcase. I LOVE IT. I've enver had my very own bookcase before. I know, I'm a nerd, but I seriously LOVE it. All five kabillion of my books have a home! It's so great! They're all pretty, and I also have some of my fairy figurines and music boxes on it, too. I LOVE IT. I just sit and look at how awesome it is when I'm laying in a heap on the couch because my stomach hurts so bad. At least SOMEthing's good.

 

...cont'd

Man, my computer is retarded. I wonder what's going on. I posted the first half of this entry, and it looks addition-free, but it's still all stretched out. Poo. Oh well. In case you averted your eyes from the attack-of-the-plus-signs entry, I'll tell you again that I got my pregnancy massage yesterday. It was GREAT.  There is a random body part protruding from my belly. Have you guys seen Alien? That is the closest thing to almost-term pregnancy as I can think of. It feels SO BIZZARE.

I got the kitchen (even the floors!) and the downstairs bathroom clean so far today. I have to pay some more bills (OH joy) and pick up the living room, then I'll be pretty much finished. I also have to go over to my parents' and finish doing my laundry, but that's all I can finish here while Tobin's sleeping. Wow. I can actually like, sit down. I have a feeling in another month or so, those words will be carefully stricken from my vocabulary.

Well, on that note, I'm going to sit while I can. I'm going to look some more in the name book at boy's names- three people rnadomly told me yesterday that they thought it was a boy. Probably just because I'm carrying all up front and not really anywhere else, but still- that made me get a move on those names! It's so weird not knowing, especially since like EVERYONE seems to get an ultrasound nowadays. But, I am not everyone. I am me, and I like not knowing.

More names I kinda like are: Elijah, Logan, Milo, Micah, Jacoby, Aiden, Skylar... I forget the rest. Any suggestions on your end? Randal is NO stinkin' help- just "whatever you think is fine, hun." GREEEEAT. Thanks, honey. That really helps. I told him I'm naming him Xandar Ezekiel (hey, that's kinda cool! Kinda. Okay, maybe only if I give birth to a biblical robot) if he doesn't help me. If *that* is fine, then I just don't even know.

Anyhow- I'm going to go sit. I hope you all are doing well, and feel free to comment whenever- I'm at like 350 hits (times people have viewed the page) and under 10 comments. I KNOW you're out there. Unless there's just some random people out there reading my page that I don't even know. Even so, it would be interesting to hear their opinions, I suppose. Once I got over the creepiness. :)

quote for the day:

@$%*&@!!

And again- @%*&@!!

As you can probably see (unless it's just MY computer that's twacked) the last entry (or two, depending on your definition) are *special*. For some reason, even when I've gone through and manually removed them TWICE, the computer has decided that plus signs are MUCH better than spaces between words. I apologize and understand if you skipped the whole thing.  I hope this one doesn't turn out the same. I will be UBERfrustrated.

So, boohoo. Not much I can do about it, really. My fish died today. :*( Poor little guy. He was pretty tore, though. I'll just keep the extra little bowl as a time-out tank, or one for fish who need recooperation. My personal little fish ward! :) Randal said that the boat is running parallel to the torms now, though they'll probably catch the tail end tomorrow. His day off is tomorrow, and they're being allowed to wear t-shirts and shorts because of the heat and humidity. At least they're doing THAT much.

Old Navy is having a huge sale right now- I went in and got three shirts, a sweater (YUM) and an outfit for Tobin for under $40. Go, me! Man, I love that store. The Old Navy in thecity has a Maternity section in it, which is pretty much the only place I won't run screaming from at the hint of a stretchy panel. I'm still in regular clothes- I've only gained about 18 lbs or so.

I got one of those velvet pants and jacket outfits that everyone and their mom has, and I have worn that sucker 5 our of the last 7 days. I even SLEPT in it. It's like wearing a blanket, I swear. I originally went into Old Navy hoping they'd have some in there, but they didn't have them in small enough sizes left. Poo. It's finally retired into the hamper, though. I don't even want to know what's on it, but luckily I'm a genuis and I bought it in black, so you can't see ANYthing. Being around toddlers makes me kinda wish wearing a poncho all the time was more fashionable, but short of that, there's black.

I bought a name book to help me with boy names- I'll have you know that the first page, first chapter of the book called "Cool Baby Names" is titled "Dakota". I'm alllll ahead of the game! :) Being that it was the combination of me and a bookstore, I a

Drool.

I got my pregnancy massage today. Drool. I actually did drool,too. You KNOW you're relaxed when you drool in a strange place onsomeone else's pillow. The picture is of the waiting room, and if you can see in the left corner, there is a fountain made ou

I AM THE TRUFFLE MASTER

I am sitting here typing because I am trying to distract my fingers. You know what they want? Those raspberry truffles you see right there. It's Thursday, which is the day I allow myself *one* to mark the passing of another week, and there are as many left as it will take for Randal and this baby to get here. I got exactly as many as I needed in thecity shopping with Porky, (when I got that amazingly good Pumpkin Truffle) and I do NOT want to venture back there again while I have this tummy and a stickshift.

Do I care? No, I definitely do not. I just ate one and I NEEEEED- I'm telling you Pregnant-Woman-NEED another one. But I'm not going to do it. Nope. I will have self-control. I'm just writing to you guys so I can TELL someone abut this amazing self-control I'm exhibiting here. I AM THE TRUFFLE MASTER. Maybe. Man, I deserve a truffle just for excersizing such mastery. I think I sense a trip to See's in my future. Mmm. Truffle.

cont'd...

My new Parrotfish are picking on my little black goldfish! Poor little guy! He has two big chunks out of his tail, and some scales missing. Both types of fish are labeled semi-aggresive, though. In the picture, you can see both of the Parrotfish stalking him. Big jerks! Oh well. If they can't work it out, I'll just have to separate them. (can you tell I'm a mommy? :)

I'm getting attacked from the inside out. The baby hasn't stopped moving in a LONG time. (HMM- can't guess who the father could be... :) Ugh. Something that's squirming around *that* much should really be on the OUTside of me, I think. Soon, soon. I'm thinking that the 4th is the soonest Randal can possibly get here, so I'll go into labor late that night, and have the baby the next day. A baby girl, for that matter- as long as I'm predicting. We'll see!

I got some freeway flowers yesterday (Gerber Daisies, to be exact) that look beautiful on my coffee table. I got a new candle at Target, too- it smells SOOOO good. It's all the autumn-y smells like pumpkin, pine and spice. YUM. Man, I love the fall. I got to wear a sweater ALLLL day today. I love it love it love it. Anyhow- I'm going to rest awhile, then, of course, attack my lovely DDGRs. I hope you all are doing well, and please feel free to post on here anytime- I like hearing from you as much as you (probably/hopefully) enjoy hearing from me!

quote for the day:

 "Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of life."  -Maureen Hawkins

Pictures!

We got pictures back today! Amber (my boss) took some when Randal was here last. She's really great at photography, which is part of the reason I have so many awesome pictures of Tobin. (and Gabby, of course) So she took some pictures a couple of weeks ago, and here they are! They're not really clear because I had to take pictures of pictures (have I mentioned I love my phone?) but at least you can see them. Tobin would have been in more (and there are more!) but that was directly during his teething-ness, so he wasn't too interested in sitting still and smiling for anyone.

Today is going well so far- I heard "Beast of Burden" on the radio on the way to work, and that made me pretty happy. I love that song. So much, in fact, I've downloaded it, and am listening to it again at this very moment. Ahh. Work went okay, although I think Gabby might be getting sick or going crazy- she was a bit um, shall we say, testy? So was Tobin, actually. He got three time outs for hitting. Gabby was just overtired and hungry, but an overtired and hungry two year old is definitely something to reckon with. Whew. But now it's Thursday, I got paid, I'm done with my workweek, Manny takes Tobin for the night and he's sleeping at the moment, leaving me with an open evening for quietness. (and extra DDGRs. but I'm not going to think about those right now.)

Looking through the pictures was fun, although I can see in Randal's face that he was fully aware he was only here for a few more hours. Poor guy. I mean, he has a great attitude and a crazy man's work ethic, but I would hate being away from my family, and I know he does. At least he got to see my belly one more time, in case he misses the birth. He's headed for warmer waters now (whatever and wherever that means) and he'll be able to do boardings soon. That should keep him occupied and get all the testostorone out before he gets to come home and be a new daddy. I'm not sure he's aware exactly how much he's going to just squish on the inside when he sees his child for the first time. He's going to have no spine left, I know it. But that's okay. That's why he's playing Rambo now. :)

Happy Birthday, Sthsthinky!!!

...cont'd

I usually don't label my continued entries, but it's my dad's birthday today, so I had to say Happy Birthday. "Sthsthinky" is a nickname I started calling him years ago (no explanation if you've ever been around him with his shoes off- now THERE's a P.U. for you!) The "sthsth" part of it is a noise apparently only my sisters and I can make, and my dad definitely cannot. I have no idea how to spell it, but that's as close as I can get. And now you know.

The picture is of Tobin and my dad at Costco this past Sunday. Tobin was definitely having a Grandpa-day, which I'm SURE was just fine by him. He and Tobin don't get to hang out a whole lot, but they sure have a special bond (especially since my dad has three girls) and it's good to see them enjoy it when they can. Tobin kept PULLING and PULLING on his hand, saying, "Peease Grampa? Come wif you?" (which in Tobin-language means 'Come with me?') He says to you what he'd like to hear FROM you... it's a bit confusing at first, but since he speaks so clearly, once you nderstand his method, it's pretty easy to get.

I've decided to tackle the bathroom and kitchen today during my DDGRs, since they're beginning to reach a point that makes me feel not sanitary doing what I need to do in either space. Not that that even really means they're terribly dirty by anyone else's standard- but by jove, I'm not anyone else. I'm me, and I say it's dirty. HOORAY for having my own space to be able to say that in. *ahh*

Well, off to my aforementioned chores- and then a NAP. A nap would be heaven. OH yeah. It's on like donkey kong.

quote for the day, in honor of daddies: "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain

Sleepy. Definitely sleepy.

Hello :) I didn't get to finish my last entry yesterday- rather, I finished it TWICE, but it didn't save both times, and after that, I was just about done writing, and it remains to be done. Oh well.

Today was fun- I took the kids Orchid shopping with me because Mary Olsen, a friend of the family, broke her leg or hip or something and Grammy asked me to bring her an orchid. I keep not being able to get it to her, since Tobin's nap schedule has been so erratic, but today I at least got the flower. I took Amy with me to help out in taking 2 munchkins into a place with a lot of breakable stuff, especially since my back has been hurting.

I have sciatica (oh, how comfy) that is usually on my left side, but allllll last night, my entire leg was hurting SO much. I even dreamt that my leg was in excruciating pain (I've never been able to feel pain in dreams before) and I woke up, and did NOT have the luxury of saying "Phew! It was a dream.". I'm getting a Mommy Massage this week, though. My mom got it for me for my birthday, which is August 5th, in case any of you don't know. I knew from last time I was pregnant that a massage would be exponentially appreciated later in my pregnancy, like now. Smart me. :)

After we picked out an orchid, of COURSE it got kicked in the car and a bud fell off (boohoo) but all in all, it's still beautiful. CRAP! I just forgot I left it and another bunch of flowers in my car. I bet they're wilting. I'm going to go get them.

Alright- so the flowers are safe, and where was I.... after we picked out an orchid, we went to drop Amy back off at Sean's dad's, where they have a WHOLE bunch of toys and stuff for his neice's and nephews. That's where most of the pictures are from today. They also have pigs. Pigs are dirty, dirty creatures, and they SMELL. They also do not say "oink", as Tobin pointed out to me. The kids made some faces at them (I did NOT let them touch them!) and then we went back to playing, because pigs are gross. Now I know why it's considered an insult to be called one. PEE-YOO. Seriously. Smelliness.