cont'd... (A Coastie Christmas 2)

 The Coastie rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I started to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent, so still,
The Coastie just shivered, from the cold, dark night's chill.
When I left that old cutter, all tossing and turning
Deep down below, the screws were still turning
As the clouds rolled on in, and sea turned to foam
In the far off distance, a light barely shone
The Coasties were up now, about on the decks
and the light that I spyed was barely a speck
So, I gave them a wink, as old glory proudly waved
For on this Christmas Eve, a life would be saved.

HONOR - RESPECT - DEVOTION TO DUTY

----------

Whew! Nice and long, nice and sad, nice and true. Well, maybe except for the Santa part, but don't tell. I'll write more and add more pictures later. I hope you all are well, and enjoying your last day of 2003! :)

The quote for the day will be on the next entry- for right now,m I'll leave you with, "A picture is worth 1,000 words." - anon.

PS: Pictures are of Dad having some Aiden-time (in the COOLEST chair EVER- it gives you up to a 1/2 hour massage- soooo gooooood!) and Tobin playing with Gabby's new keyboard. He sang his entire ABC's on that microphone- except the HIJK "uh-uh-uh-uh-P" part. And, Gabby *completely* dranched in sparkles. Is there another way for a 2-year-old-girl to be? :)

..cont'd (A Coastie Christmas)

The Coast Guardsman's Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, the cutter was steaming,
Coasties on watch, while others were dreaming.
Lookouts above, engineers in the hole
An unfamiliar sight, not like the North Pole.
I landed on deck with presents and gifts,
Hoping that somehow, their spirits I'd lift
I looked all about, a strange sight did I see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stockings were hung, shined boots close at hand,
On the bulkhead hung pictures of a far distant land.
They had medals and badges and awards of all kind,
More dedicated men, I know I can't find.
For this place was so different, so dark and so rough,
I think I'd discovered, what made Coasties so tough.
A Coastie lay sleeping, silent, and alone,
Curled up in a rack and dreaming of home.
The face was so gentle, the decks squared away,
Gob Bless our Coast Guard, I started to pray.
For this was the hero, I saw on TV,
Pulling lives from the water, and battling the Sea
Defending the Homeland, keeping drugs off the street
Coasties do it all, cause freedom's not free.
I realized the families that I would visit this night,
Owed their lives to these Coasties who lay willing to fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate on this Christmas Day.
They all enjoyed freedom and safety all year,
Because of the Coastie, like the one lying here.
I couldn't help wonder, how many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve, on a sea far from home.
Just that very thought, brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.
The Coastie awakened, and I heard a calm voice,
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice."
"Defending the homeland all days of the year,
So others may live and be free with no fear."
I thought for a moment, what a difficult road,
To live a life guided by honor and code.
After all it's Christmas Eve, and the ship's underway!
But freedom isn't free and it's Coasties who pay.

Pictures!

Okay- this entry is solely for pictures. I will write, and probably later today, but I have GOT to take advantage of the fact that Manny has Tobin right now, and get some cleaning done. My house is CHAOS. So... here are some pictures, labeled in their respictive order:

1) Tobin playing with a CUTE little girl when we went out for pizza Sunday night.

2) a "Pizza seed"... because, as you know, pizza grows on trees.

3) NASTY water, threatening to eat my car as I drove Porky to Vacaville Monday. The weather was SO cold, windy and rainy. Yuck.

4&5) Tobin fell asleep in the car. Awww. One can never have too many sleeping baby pictures. :)

6) Porky and I in the HOWLING FREEZING wind & rain. I think I look like a muppet.

7) Grammy (who we met in Vacaville) getting some much-needed Aiden time

8) Tobin wearing Grammy's earrings & necklace. (they are little globes- you can see if you look close- we just hooked the earrings over his ears (HE wanted them!!) and they stayed. He was pretty happy. (Now Randal... he'll live, and so will you :)

9) Yay, nursing! Breast is best! (sidenote- Aiden is wearing the outfit given to him by Marc & Jen- I LOVE it!!)

Okay, well- I'm going to attack my DDGRs now, while I have a chance. Ooh! I almsot forgot I was going to put up a poem Randal sent me about a Coastie Christmas. Some of you may have read it already, but here it is, if you haven't. (I have to put in on the cont'd entry, since it's kinda long. But then I can fit more pictures!

...cont'd

It it's always hard when he leaves. I had a pretty good day, though-  I know now to just keep busy, which is never really hard. I came home & went straight to work (ugh- not that I don't love my job, but I was TIRED!) and took care of the kids all day ...and then there's the night, when it's quiet and the kids are asleep and I'm left to myself. The sheets always seem an extra special few degrees colder the first night he's gone. I got in and lay still, trying to let the LEAST amount of sheet touch me as possible.

My mind drifted to the night before, when my sheets where actually a tolerable, if not pleasant temperature. We were laying and talking, and I just had to stop and take in... I don't even know. The moment, my life, the fact that the kids were asleep, Randal, the room, everything. It was like a small part of the love I know is everywhere came down and touched me, and for a moment, everything stopped. That is why I married him, and I felt the warmest and safest I'd ever felt with him laying the closest to me that two people could be in our nice warm sheets.

And then, back to reality in my arctic sheets, I got to stare at the wall, wondering why I had to be alone. Ah yes, the eternal balance. I'm okay with it all, though. I know it's perfectly normal and even good to be sad, and I don't have to hide it. I also know that pimping out my sadness would be irritating to others AND myself. It's really hard on your insides when you choose to hang onto your grief just too feel it, and just to feel validated in your inadequacies. I've seen a lot of people use crap that happens to them to cover up things they don't feel like dealing with, and it's just sad. I refuse to be one of those people.

Well, there's enough of Julie-Philosophy for you. Aiden is asleep and Manny finally took Tobin, so I'm going to try and tackle my house. I knew I had to get cleaning when the first thing that popped into my mind when I walked in the door was, "It's aliiiiiive... AAALLIIIIIVE!!!!" So- time to adorn myself in my Domestic Goddess attire (I should start my own line!) and rid my palace of the conquering clutter.

Hiho dustmop, awaaaaay!

quote for the day: "Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." H. Jackson Browne

PS: There are 1227 hits on this site, and it's 12/27. Cool.

...cont'd (internal skies)

...cont'd

The first picture is of the drink that started it all, which we got at The Rainforest Cafe- it is SO COOL in there! I tried to get some pictures, but the lighting was too dark for my crap camera phone. (not that I dont *love* my phone, but it's certainly not the coolest camera out there.) but you can check out pictures for yourself @ www.rainforestcafe.com . Coolness. The second is of a building in Union Square- that little light allll the way at the top is where we went dancing. It's called Harry Denton's Starlight Lounge- that was really fun. I hadn't been dancing in YEARS. When we left the dancefloor, other people were patting us on the back and saying, "Good job!" ..... Okaaaay, then. Apparently they liked us dancing as much as we did. Sweet.

We had Christmas with my sisters, parents and granparents Saturday, so Randal could have some form of Christmas, since he really hasn't in four years now. He still had to spend the actual day doing boardings somewhere in Southern Ca, but at least it was something. We got a LOT of sushi-related stuff, which is fiiiiine by me, since it's pretty much my favorite food. (aside from dark chocolate and/or raspberries. Mmm.) He's going to have to practice making it next time he's home. Mmmm. Sushi.

He left Tuesday morning- I had to bring him back to SF at 0500 (that's Coastie-speak for o'dark-thirty) Porky stayed the night to stay with Tobin, and we brought Aiden with us. We got there just in time for sunrise- it's amazing the shortness of time it takes from the world to go from completely dark to completely light. I don't have too much experience with sunrises (I'm a bit like Captain Hook in regards to alarm clocks- there's that inner Pirate again!) but they're actually mostly worth getting up for, if your husband isn't leaving you as soon as it's over.

I was thinking on the way home that it was kind of ironic that the world went from dark to light so fast, as mine did the exact opposite. The sky was grey, everything bare and drab.... nice and abismal to see me off back to my Randal-less life.  The drive through the city wasn't so bad, though. The streets were as lonely as I was. (aww) But as soon, as I approached Santa Rosa, the skies cleared. Too bad it took a bit longer for my internal skies, if you will, to clear.

Didja miss me?

Things that have come and gone in the last week for $500, please:

My husband, Christmas, my grandparents, my best friend, my sanity.

That about sums it up, really. I've written FOUR times this past week, but I would finish, then go to upload pictures, it would fail, then erase EVERYthing. Grr. I've already loaded pictures on this one, though, so TAKE THAT, AOHell!

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! ... and all that good stuff. :) Those of you that have given me your addresses- your pictures are coming! Amy, I found some old ones of us in junior high I just HAD to include. :) My sisters and I made a collage for my mom for Christmas, and it involved going through a LOT of old pictures- next entry I'll try and get some good ones up- though I have SO many from the last couple of weeks, you guys are just going to be bombarded.

The pictures that are up are from waiting in SF for Randal's ship to come in. I even snuck in a paprazzi shot of him walking off the... I feel like saying plank, but that's just my inner pirate speaking from the fifteen times I've watched Pirates of the Carribbean. (Polly want a Johnny and an Orlando? Ay, matey!) Well, I don't know what that thing's called, but I have a picture of him on it, thanks to my dads ubercool camera! I actually found parking right on the pier they pulled into, so I got to wait, nose pressed against the chain link fence, for Randal to get there. I was at the end of the lot when I saw the mast (I think that's what it's called) and RAN, both kids in the stroller alllllll the way to the end of the lot- the most I've ran in a long time, and the most fun Tobin's had in the stroller, I'm sure.

We had a night to ourselves in thecity that night, which was fun. Pictures of that will be on the con'd entry. We went for a night on the town- to dinner, dancing and a couple of bars. The night Randal and I met (last New Year's at the restaurant where I used to work.) he introduced himself as "Tork". I said, "What, like dork?" ...and thus the challenge and the saga were born. I learned the meaning of that nickname Thursday night. WHOA.

Lord Of The Rings is out!! Lord Of The Rings is out!!!

...not that I saw it, since I have 2 kids. *ahhh*

Well, I've written FOUR TIMES that it's erased over the past few days, and each time, I've had JUST enough time to write, and no more, so alas, there's been nothing. I write now just to have a palce for these pictures... Amber & Gabby got a new puppy (a Toy Fox Terrier- SO CUTE!!) her name is Lily (at least SOMEone's name is Lily!) and I want to eat her. She can sit right in the palm of your hand. (though she'd probably jump) I HAD to get the pictures of her up here- now my days are just FILLED with cuteness- both kids, plus Gabby & Lily... oh, man. It's like chocolate sauce on cheesecake- probably a little too much, but SOOO GOOOD.

We're leaving in the morning to meet Randal's boat- SHIP. Ship. It's not a boat, it's a ship. Ship. To meet his ship. Right. They're docking around here- I'm not sure if it's a good idea to say when or where on the internet, but I KNOW, so hooray!! That's why I had to get the pictures up- I'm taking tomorrow off work to go, and Amber said I could do it on ONE condition: that I get thew pictures up. So, here, Amber!

The pictures are of the kids on the train at the mall, Lily, Tobin pushing a mini-gorcery cart we found at the store and riding a FIRETRUCK!!! (this is the coolest thing EVER. Today.) Oh, and did you guys know if you download these pictures to your computer, you can go to www.shutterfly.com to order prints of them? Pretty cool, eh? That also means anyone in the world can download them and do that, but the copyright people said as soon as something's in print on here, it's copyrighted, so at least if they do, they can't make money off of it. Legally, anyhow. :)

Well, I've got to get some sleep and finish sme last minute stuff before tomorrow- I'm going to spend my first night away from Aiden! I'm nervous, of course, but he'll be near and with Amy, who I completely trust to do the same things I would in a given situation, and who has been around Aiden almsost daily since his birth. I need an adult-night and SLEEEEP! Sleep is great. I've been pumping so he has breastmilk to drink, though. Hooray. Anyhow- off I go. Hope you all are well. :)

quote for the day: "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much." Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis