2008, hard to rate

     Hello and Happy New Year!! Okay- so first, I have to admit I'm writing solely to excuse myself from doing laundry or dishes or vacuuming, picking up the boys rooms or my own or wiping down the counters or bathrooms, sweeping or mopping- you get it. I suppose I'm feeling the housework all the more since Randal is still in the beginning of his MOTHERFLIPPING RIDICULOUS masting (which I will refrain from getting into in effort to keep this on a positive note) and I find myself slightly overwhelmed with the sudden responsibility of the house and his general absence in it. He had two weeks off during Tobin's winter break from school (and directly prior to this GOLLYGOSHDARNTOOTIN STUPID masting) which was SO well deserved and needed as individuals, as a couple and a family. Unfortunately, spending so much time just focusing on building ourselves and our relationship was SO wonderful and healing and renewing, it makes it infinitely harder to pop back into our other lives where we must work -and live- independently from each other. It's quite a balance to strike, let me tell you! Well, I suppose I am telling you.
     It was so all-around invigorating to have those long, intricate, honest and fueled conversations- it was so relaxing to be able to lay on each other next to the fire after the kids are asleep, reading separate books, speaking only intermittently. It was so convenient to have him able to get something from the store on his way home, so I don't have to wait until Annika's not sleeping and lug three kids out for one thing- especially in this rainy season! (thought we've hit a sunny patch again- hooray!) I miss crossing paths mid-house and exchanging a quick (or not) kiss, hug or look...
     I can't imagine what it's going to be like in another year when Annika is almost 2 and he's going overseas again. It took me almost a full minute to even type the end of that sentence. I'd love to be dignified and tell you it's his duty and he's a hero for supporting our country and it's what's best... but when pondering dignity vs. honesty, I'll almost always choose the latter. The truth is that I absolutely hate it. The truth is I'm scared of him being there and of me being here and I'm so frustrated and angry that in order for us to afford to live here (and/or to move anywhere else we CAN afford) he has to go there. *Sigh* ...and so I'm here, letting my brain diffuse so I can function.
     Aside from the $#@*ing (insert witty and particularly sour explicative here) masting, things are going wonderfully. I hope you all enjoyed our first family newsletter, and if you didn't get one, give me your address and I'll print one up for you! =] The kids are growing so much every day and they're so fun to be around. The boys are boys, which I am constantly learning the meaning of, coming from a family of all girls. (Seriously, even my parents each only have one sister, who in turn, has a daughter. Okay- my dad's sister also has a son. Both aunts are like 5' tall, too! But I digress...) They do everything from coloring to swordplay (the line blends, even there- another thing I've learned from having boys is that EVERYTHING resembling anything that can point is a sword/gun/lazer beam projector/weapon of mass destruction) full force! Thankfully, there are some rad TV shows (Aiden loves SuperWhy on PBS and Tobin loves Beakman's World) and we have recordable TV so I can put it on whenever and fast forward all the commercials. ("Eeew! Mommy, it's the advertisers again!") I never thought I'd say it or do it, but sometimes, TV can save a working (aren't we all?) Mother's sanity. Just twenty minutes... just twenty minutes... (which is all they are without commercials, dagnabit!) becomes a calming mantra.
     In other news, Annika is 10 months old today! She is also closer and closer to crawling- I'd even go as far as to say that she really made her very first full crawl this morning! She did a set of two complete hand-and-knee cycles, completely kitty-fueled. I'd also go as far as to say that 'kitty" is her first word. She says "Ee-dee!" VERY excitedly whenever she sees either one of ours. Jack, who is two weeks younger than Annika, is very tolerant of her and she is surprisingly gentle with him. Of course, my experience is with the aforementioned boyness. Go figure!
     I just finished making my hot chocolate... (I can't make it like Randal, but it's still so good!) I've been trying to factor some unwind time into my day, as it becomes more apparent after a few days of Randal gone that I do, indeed, need a break. Even if I have to keep myself awake for it. I suppose that's where the good ol' cocoa comes in- just enough caffeine to keep me awake enough to know what relaxation feels like again before I drop like a.... well, an effectively single mother of three! I'm not sure what else drops like that except a single mother of four or more. (bless you, Linda!) Sheesh. At least I have an end. Even if the means is because of something COMPLETELY PREPOSTEROUS. *Ahem.* I'd apologize, but this is my soapbox and I wish I could Robin Hood my love back to me, but this is all I've got. Perhaps Tobin can invent something in the future along with a time machine to bring it back here, yeesssss, YYYEESSSSS... okay, okay... The chocolate is kicking in, and the line between sleep and awake is blurring. It's also where Tinkerbell lives, so I'll be sure to check for her on my way up the stairs. Ohhhh, jeez. I need adult contact!

goodnight to you all... and, of course, your quote for the day:

"Management means, in the last analysis, the substitution of thought for brawn and muscle, of knowledge for folkways and superstition, and of cooperation for force. It means the substitution of responsibility for obedience to rank, and of authority of performance for the authority of rank." Peter Drucker.

oh, fine:
"We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world." Helen Keller

Happy Holidays from our home to yours! =]

October pics... while it's still October?!

Yes, these are indeed pictures of me and my boys (and Ethan, who was my borrowed boy until I had my own :) holding Tobin's new snake, Alex/ He is a garter snake, who only eats minnows, whioch I plop into his waterdish and walk away. I remember my dad fishing with minnows when I was a kid, so it doesn't freak me out much. Also, his tongue-flicking is minimal, which really helps- that still creeps me out a bit. Aiden just goes for it, so I ask him to help me get him out (can you believe I have to ask my THREE year old for help?!) but after the initial wigglywindiness, he just wants to be still and is REMOTELY cute. Alright, to bed with me- I have to volunteer in Tobin's school library in the morning... well, later this morning. Oi. Bed. 

September Pics, now that it's October...

Ohh, insomnia, how I love thee. At least I got the pictures edited and up, eh? :) I'm too bleary-eyed too explain most of them, but there are some playing at home ones, some baptism ones and some from when Grammy spoke in Tobin's class for Teddy Bear week. She did that in MY class when I was (around) his age! :) That was really special, and so was the beautiful dress Grammy's sister, Aunt Dotty made for Annika- all in the same weekend- what a talented pair! Whew. Okay, I'm going to try and get some more up from THIS month, if I can see straight that long... I wish I could find the time to sit and just write and write about all the adolrable, wonderful (and stressful and hectic) things that happen here everyday, but I'm too busy doing them and I'm on my third child- I know that Annika is going to be the last one for me and that sh'es going to be grown before I know it- I'm not wasting even one second that I could be pressing my lips to those chubby pink cheeks clickety clacking on this goofy thing! I hope you are all well, I will write when I can-  I know you are probably sick of hearing it, but if you had my brilliant boys and beautiful baby, you'd never stick your face in a computer, either. :) Until next time...

The pictures get better and better as they progress, so don't worry. This is my first attempt to come up for air in quite awhile and I'm exhausted! Three kids is... eh, wow. Busy! Fun and a lot of other things, too. Annika a so sweet and mellow and HUGE! She chunked out in like a week! Her eyes are turning lighter blue and her hair is still dark but thinning. Tobin started kindergarten at a new school this year and is sporting his new glasses (as am I) in some of the pictures. The girl with red hair is our friend Megan (who some of you might remember lived with our family in '01) who now has her own huge adorable 9 month old, David. The OTHER couple is Genery, my best friend from high school and her husband, Geoff, visiting from Pennsylvania. Hooray! Aiden is doing well, swordfighting all the bad guys in the backyard, reminding me that he is, "SO riginal", which, of course, he is.

Oh my gosh, I'd love to write about so many things, but the truth of the matter is that there's Harry Potter is upstairs and I haven't had a chance to get past the part where they leave the house! ...which is in the very, very beginning of each book, for you non-HP readers, if you exist. J.K. Rowling is like the wealthiest person in the UK right now COUNTING the queen. Crazy. Okay. And now I'm going to go read that book, which is why. :)

love, peace & veggies to you all- ooh! Look what I learned how to do! <br> <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f257/imovethisfast/drseussquote.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

Annika slept through the night!!

Oh, and she's the sweetest baby ever, Exhibit A:

 

She is SO gosh darn cute. I love having a little girl!! Everyone is doing well, Randal is off his IV meds and is at his first day back working at the winery as I type. I *LOVE* the big pic of Annika, getting kisseed by her ever-lovin' Daddy- those two are so incredibly sweet together, it's palpable how special they are to each other. They boys are enjoying the warmer weather, although I've got my first patchwork sunburn from playing at the pool with Amber & Gabby yesterday (sorry, no pics of mommy's first bathing suit excursion- I don't care HOW skinny you think I am.... just go riiiight on thinking.) The Health & Harmony Fair is this weekend, you can bet on pictures from that, though! Baby's First HippieFest- you KNOW that one has a spot in the baby book... as soon as I get one. And, you know, a camera. At least my phone is there to capture the moment, even if it's not fully encompassed in all of its asthetic glory.

In other news, we have found a new house and will be moving at the end of the month! Although I paticularly detest moving in general, (I JUST got everything settled at THIS house!) the new house has twice the living space with the 2nd floor and twice the yard space as well with (white picket) fenced front & back yards. It also has four bedrooms- the first time either Randal or I will have lived in a house with adequate bedrooms for each person, something that we both feel really good about. I think it will smooth things out especially in Tobin's world, who will benefit from having his very own space to be responsible for and close the door to when he feels the need.

This also means I get to decorate my very first little GIRL'S room! I'm a bit perplexed, having never done such a thing, but I'm pretty sure it involves lots of fairies, MeMa's (my maternal great grandmother) rocking chair and little tiny things that make people go, "Awwww..." Not too much pink, though. I'm thinking light greens and Mother Goose things- I really like vintage toys and plaques and things, especially for nurseries. We don't have a crib yet but we do have the cradle that their Grandpa Ray made, which was used by their cousin Dominic and Aiden and now Annika, too. Hooray for a place for my ceramic fairies I've accumulated over the years! (actually, Miss GabbyDoodle aquired quite a few of them, but still...)

The master bedroom has dual shower heads, his & hers closets and sinks as well as a 6' soaking tub. HECK YES. The carpet is old and blue, which is much more suited to little children than the white (oh, the horror) that we have now. Our current landlady is thinking of selling the house anyhow, so it seems to work out for the best on everyone's ends. It's closer to the freeway and to KJ for Randal and also closer to Kira's & Amber's houses, which is nice for me. :) To top it off, it's on a court for the boys to ride their bikes in and the rent is $100 less! *ahh*

Things are going well, despite all of the crazy little things that pop up here and there... but that's what life is, you know? The boat is constantly rocking... sometimes it's soothing and rhythmic enough to rock us to sleep, sometimes a storm comes out of nowhere and all we can do is find something to grab onto to keep our feet somewhere near the ground. I hate to take a meatphor and run, but Randal is such a wonderful anchor- I love how all of us in our little family fulfill our individual roles, even the kids and the cats. Our day to day life is so joyful and full of love, I am thankful everyday for them and our extended family, who keep us floating when it gets really crazy. You guys are all such blessings in your own ways- thank you for being a part of this crazy voyage! ...okay, enough sea-baring likenesses. Ahoy!

Quick Update

Randal will be released on IV meds this evening, with homecare (a RN coming to our house to check his blood & give him an IV) for 7-10 dys. Hooray!!